The Menoras Hamaor cites a Midrash in which a wise woman told her daughter: “Serve your husband as if he were a king.  For, if you will act toward him like his maid, he will act as if he were your servant and will honor you like a queen.  If, however, you try to dominate him, he will be your master, and you will be in his eyes like a maidservant. ~ R’ Zelig Pliskin

Alternatively, after I got married, Bernie Kesselman told me the following: “If you want to be king, you have to first treat your wife like a queen.”