Try to be nice to people for no reason. If you’re in camp…go to the cook and say the food was amazing. You hear a shiur from someone, tell him, “Wow, it was amazing.”
It doesn’t make a difference if it was or not. You’ll make him feel like a million dollars. Why not?
You can do this 24 hours a day. And you’ll get used to it. Train yourself to be nice just for being nice.
~ R’ Nissan Kaplan
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BSD Shalom uBrochoh! Are you saying it is okay to lie in order to say something nice? Whether considered a “little white lie” or a regular lie, why would it be permitted? What if the food wasn’t so great, or the shiur not so amazing – should a person “lie” just to say something “nice”? Where do we draw the line, so to say in regard to saying a compliment. Whether it’s 100% true or not? Thank you.
Thank you for your important question. I agree that we should stay away from lies, but R’ Kaplan’s point isn’t to lie, it’s to train ourselves to see the good in people and situations, even when it’s not obvious. We should be דן לכף זכות and focus on the positive.
The food might not have been perfect, but there’s always something to sincerely praise, i.e. the effort, the presentation, the warmth. A shiur might not be life-changing, but a heartfelt “Thank you, I enjoyed it” or “Thank you so much for putting in the time – I really appreciate it!” is both true and uplifting.
This isn’t about flattery or white lies. It’s about developing a lev tov that lifts people up.
BSD
Thanks for the explanation. Excellent!