Where to Look

In material matters one should always look at he whose situation is lower than one’s own, and thank the good G-d for His kindness to him. In spiritual matters one should always look at he who is higher than oneself, and plead with G-d to grant him the intelligence to learn from the other, and the ability and strength to rise higher. ~ R’ Yosef Yitzhak Schneerson zt”l

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Even In Front of the Person

If you feel that you would relate the loshon hora even if the subject were present, it is still forbidden.  ~ Guard Your Tongue

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Incredible Story about a Single Boy trying to find his Zivug

A 25 year old yeshiva bachur was still not married. Usually, yeshiva bachurim get married at ages 22, 23, not older then that. So a 25 years old boy is considered old if he is not married by then. This boy went out with girls and after the first date, none of the girls wanted to continue going out with him. He had a scar on his cheek, that looked like a cut which didn’t look so good to the eye. He was an amazing boy, good middot, Yirat Shamayim, he was a really great boy. But every girl would go out with him on a date, she would see his scar, and there would be no second date after that. Therefore, he got to the age of 25 and he was still not married. He goes to Rabbi Kanievsky and he tells him “Kvod HaRav I don’t know what to do. I want to get married. My friends are all married and I am still in yeshiva.” And he told him that he thinks that it’s because of his scar.

Rav Kanievsky told him “the next time you meet a girl, talk to her about your scar on the date and tell her the story about what caused you to have this scar”. He didn’t understand what difference it would make by him telling his story since he knew that if the girl does not like his scar then it doesn’t matter what caused it. One or two months passed by and a girl was suggested to him. He looked into her, he hears that she is a very special girl with Yirat Shamayim, and exceptional middot. He asks what she looks like and he is told that she looks good. This made him feel worried because he prefers that she is not going to be so good looking because he knew that if she is really beautiful then she definitely won’t be interested in him. So he thought to himself “maybe she doesn’t look as good as people say, nobody ever says about another person that she doesn’t look good even if she is not so attractive.” So he decided to go out with her. On the way to the date he was very nervous. He was hoping that she wasn’t so good looking. He was hoping that maybe something would come out of it. When he got there, he saw that not only did she look good, she looked stunning. She was gorgeous! He was very disappointed because he knew that a girl that looks like this would never want him. He went over to her and they started talking. He noticed her looking at his scar. As they were getting into a deeper conversation he saw how everything that he heard about her was really true. She had good middot, Yirat Shamayim, she was truly a special girl. As hard as it was for him, he decided that since Rav Kanievsky told him that he should tell his story about his scar then he is going to do it. So he told her “I am sure you realized the scar that I have on my cheek. Rav Kanievsky told me to tell my story about this scar on the first date so I am going to tell it to you.” He told her that 5 years ago, when he was 20 years old, he came back from Yeshiva in Jerusalem. He was learning in Mir Yeshiva and when he left it was late at night and it was very dark and deserted. All of a sudden he heard a young Jewish lady screaming. He saw an Arab man running after her and trying to catch her. He immediately caught the Arab man, and he held him back from hurting the lady. He screamed out for help and the neighbors came out of their houses to see what is going on and the young lady was able to run away before he did anything bad to her. He saved her, but before he himself could run away, the Arab man took out a knife and cut his face. He was taken to the hospital and he was healed. He told her that this is why he has this scar on his face until today.

The girl lowered her eyes and when she lifted her eyes back again to look at him, he saw saw that she had tears in her eyes. She told him, “For years I have been looking for the guy who saved me from that Arab man on that day”.

They got married to each other and today they are happily married and they built a bait ne’eman b’yisrael together.

A person that is close to HaKadosh Baruch Hu, trusts in Him. You never know what Hashem plans for you and why he sends you certain challenges. You may not understand why it’s taking so long for you to find your zivug and why it doesn’t work out for you with anyone but whenever you find your zivug, everything will be clear to you. ~ R’ Zamir Cohen

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You ever feel under-dressed?

The Midrash says that in the World to Come, a person will be clothed according to the way he dressed in this world in honor of Shabbos. ~ Yalkut Reuveni, Bereishis

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Forget the Past

We must not listen to our evil inclination, which tries to make us obsessed with the past, and throw us into bitterness, depression, and despair.  For it seeks to rob us of our present and future as well. ~ R’ Yaakov Meir Schechter

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The Gates of Tears

“The gates of tears are never closed” (Talmud Berachos 32b).  If the gates are never closed, why were they established?  What purpose to they serve?

The gates are closed to the tears of fools, who weep over things that are not worth being cried over. ~ The Kotzker Rebbe zt”l

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Teshuva

When we do teshuva, the evil we did entirely ceases to exist in creation, for by uprooting our desire for sin, it is as though we have uprooted the very act itself. ~ R’ Yaakov Meir Schechter

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One Day at a Time

“Today, if you listen to His voice” (Psalms 95:7).  The main thing in avodas Hashem is not to be concerned with more than one day at a time.  For in this life, a person has only the very day and the very hour he finds himself in.  Tomorrow is another day altogether. ~ R’ Nachman of Breslov

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A Curse

If you maliciously speak loshon hora about someone behind his back and do not want him to find out that you maligned him, in addition to violating the prohibition against speaking loshon hora, you also incur upon yourself a curse: “Cursed be the one who secretly smites his friend.” (Dvorim 27:24) ~ Guard Your Tongue

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How to Wake up on Time for Davening

A mashgiach of a certain yeshivah once came to Rav Elyashiv and told him that the students in his yeshivah had a difficult time waking up in the morning to get to davening on time.  The mashgiach asked how to deal with this.

“There is no trick to it,” said Rav Elyashiv.  “A person needs to engrave upon himself the importance of davening, and only then will he not arrive even one minute late!  A shopkeeper or grocer doesn’t have to look for suggestions on how to wake up in the morning, because he knows that if he comes late he will lose out financially.  Similarly, if a person were to recognize the importance of davening, he wouldn’t have to seek advice on how to wake up on time.” ~ The Gadol Hador

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