The fact that someone is “only joking” is not a valid excuse for speaking loshon hora.
One Purim a group of Radiner Yeshiva students performed a skit in the house of the Chofetz Chayim of sacred memory. Among other things, they jokingly alluded to an episode that had caused a large controversy in yeshiva circles. Immediately, the Chofetz Chayim admonished them softly, “Even on Purim one must refrain from loshon hora. ~ Guard Your Tongue
Spiritual life is superior to physical life. But the physical life of another is an obligation of my spiritual life. ~ R’ Yisroel Salanter zt”l
When you drink wine you forget everything. The world drinks wine to forget the good and remember the bad. When we get drunk on Purim, we forget the bad. We even forget how bad Haman is. We only remember the good in the world… and in Heavan they do the same. On Yom Kippur I am asking forgiveness for all the bad things I did. But on Purim, I don’t have to ask forgiveness because Heavan only remembers the good.
On Yom Kippur, we don’t give gifts to each other because we are separate from each other. On Purim, we cant stop giving gifts because we are one. Hopefully, one day there will be peace in the world, but every year it begins on Purim. ~ R’ Shlomo Carlebach zt”l
This is possibly the most impactful D’var Torah I have ever heard.
All year long, if you are approached by a person seeking financial assistance, there are halachos regarding checking to see if that person is really needy. However, this is not so on Purim. On Purim, the halacha is as follows: “Kol HaPoshet Yad Notnim Lo”– whoever stretches out a hand [asking for help] we give them.” (Shulchan Aruch Siman 694:3). We are literally not allowed to say no to anyone who asks for money on Purim.
The same applies to our prayers on Purim. All year round, when we ask of anything from Hashem, He could check over our deeds before determining whether to grant our requests. However, on Purim, anything we ask for, Hashem just gives it to us. Whoever stretches out a hand, asking for help, Hashem will give them.
Now don’t treat this as just a cute D’var Torah. I heard this from R’Asher Balanson 20 years ago who stressed that we shouldn’t waste this opportunity. We should literally find an empty room where we could just pour out our hearts to Hashem and ask for whatever we want. Do this multiple times over Purim if you can. There is no better opportunity! Everyone considers Yom Kippur to be the holiest day of the year. But remember that it is called “Yom Kippurim” which could be translated as “A day like Purim.” Think about it. What we think is the holiest day of the year, Yom Kippur, is just comparing itself to the holiness of Purim!
I am intentionally posting this D’var Torah the day before Purim so you can properly prepare yourselves for this awesome opportunity. Please don’t waste it.
In youth, one learns to talk; in maturity, one learns to be silent. This is man’s problem: that he learns to talk before he learns to be silent. ~ R’ Nachman of Breslov zt”l
Mishe Nichnas Adar Marbim BiSimcha, is generally translated as “When Adar begins, we increase in joy.” As we are in the month of Adar, with Purim just a few days away, we should be feeling especially happy. However, read this incredible line from R’ Avraham Yaakov Hacohen Pam zt”l:
“People are always searching for the city of happiness, but they don’t realize that it is a state of mind.”
On this line, R’ Paysach Krohn adds that the Hebrew word BiSimcha (joy) is made up of the exact same letters as Machshova (thought).
It’s up to you!
Speaking loshon hora about someone in his presence is very serious even if your sole intention is mentioning his faults to criticize him constructively. Corrective comments should be delivered privately. Offending someone publicly is loshon hora and constitutes a grave sin. You may also be guilty of causing him humiliation and mortification. ~ Guard Your Tongue
Shabbos evening upon returning from Maariv, Rav Simcha Zissel Ziv zt”l would pause for a while in the entrance of his home to study all the Shabbos preparations. He would observe the beautifully set table and the many delicious foods in order to be properly grateful to his wife, who had gone to so much trouble for him. ~ Sparks of Mussar
